The Dunwich Horror

Uh oh. This is a bad one. So this came on late on TCM around Halloween and I thought I'd sit down to watch it. Boy, was I in for a ride on the stupidity train. This movie was like The Langoliers combined with Touch of Satan, trying to be Arabesque. Wow. The only thing missing from this film was Tim Matheson.

So the movie is supposed to be based after an H.P. Lovecraft story, but I've read it's very loosely based (Most of the characters in the movie aren't even in the story, let alone entire plot elements!). But that's a good thing because you don't want to be connected to this movie in any way, shape or form. TRUST ME. So, first of all, the movie "stars" Dean Stockwell and Sandra Dee. I haven't seen any other Dean Stockwell movie except for The Langoliers, a film adaption of a Stephen King (who sucks in my opinion) story, which could quite possibly be the worst movie of all time. Sandra Dee is best known for her roll as Gidget in the 1959 classic, Gidget. What she was thinking when she decided to make this heap of crap movie, I doubt anyone will understand.

So the plot of the movie is pretty strained. There's this girl, Nancy, who's played by Dee. She and her friend work at a library with a copy of the Necronomicon. Right off the bat, it's like WTF!? Okay, so bare with me here. There's an old professor, Dr. Armitage who comes in and examines the book every now and again. One day, Wilbur, played by Stockwell, comes in, looking evil, or maybe just slightly gay. He tries to get the Necronomicon but Dr. Armitage doesn't want to let him get it. But since it's a public library, Nancy gives it to him. She also decides to go over to his house, because she's slightly intrigued by his mysterious darkness (or gayness).

So Wilbur drugs Nancy and starts using her in these bizarre rituals. Did I mention that meanwhile throughout this movie, there's random, half-second shots of naked people in finger paint running around? Some shots are violent I think, some are bizarre orgy-type stuff. All absolutely pointless. So he puts her on this stone table and impregnates her while she's passed out while all these evil spirits fly around. Apparently, he has to impregnate her and do these rituals on her to open a portal so that the beings (which are his ancestors) who lived on Earth before humans can come back.

Are you kidding me? Isn't that the stupidest thing you've ever heard? So Nancy's friend, who's name isn't even worth mentioning, comes by Wilbur's house looking for Nancy. Wilbur's weird, frightened little kitten of a father tries to make her leave, but she goes upstairs to the top floor where she's apparently eaten by some type of beast made out of hands, eyes and teeth. So the monster gets out (apparently it was somehow locked in the top room of Wilbur's home) and starts going on a rampage. Oh, and Wilbur's mom is in a mental institution, too. Did I get to that? The relevance of that is never exactly explained other than Wilbur had some type of evil birth. Anyway, is it wrong to say I don't even remember the end of this film?

Oh, and did I mention that Roger Corman was the producer of this movie? Yeah...