LMN - You Belong To Me

I couldn't really fall asleep a couple nights ago so I decided to turn on my favorite channel, LMN (Lifetime Movie Network). This little gem was on.

Let me tell you, this movie is BAD. Shannon Elizabeth, best known for her awful nudie roles, plays a single mother of a young child. Her husband, whose name was something outrageous like Fabian or Lucius or something, apparently was extremely violent, which is hilarious, because it has nothing to do with the story whatsoever. So Shannon is being stalked by someone, who she believes must be her ex-husband.

Random things start happening, her poetry book is often left on the floor, open to pages with threatening love poems, she's being left flowers constantly at her office, her boyfriend is attacked and almost killed while he's working underneath his car and things from around her house start to go missing. Meanwhile, at work, a friend of hers, Chris, who's played by Christian Campbell, husband of ultra Canadian craptastic actress, Neve Campbell, starts to appear to be taking a romantic interest in her. However, this is no big surprise though as she flirts RELENTLESSLY with him, letting him take her out to dinner and lunch and also taking him to dinner and lunch, even though she has a boyfriend (the guy who got stuck under the car). He tries to give her a sacred Irish necklace, which belonged to his mother, but she refuses.

Shannon finally starts to put it together that Chris could be the stalker, as he's often quoted the poetry that he leaves in her room at night to scare her when they're out at dinner, but stupidly accepts a ride from him to "go get some coffee" on a rainy night. He drives her out to a cliff (where his mother supposedly committed suicide) and tries to push her off out of his love for her, again quoting poetry lines like "I'll love you even after death." But in a strange twist of fate, Shannon manages to push him off the cliff, leaving his sacred Irish necklace on the edge of the cliff.

Okay, so far, this is all acceptably believable. Having said that, this movie probably should have ended here. But no, here's where the movie turns insanely stupid. So she goes back to her house with her son and some other girl (Her sister maybe..? I don't know if it's ever explained.) and tries to fall asleep that night. She can't though, as a vase on her desk flies out of nowhere at her. She also finds the same poetry book on the floor, with the page turned to the "I'll love you even after death" poem, with a picture of her and Chris.

Yep, you guessed it. Chris is now haunting/stalking her from beyond the grave. She meets with a psychic who believes she was surrounded by dark energy in the beginning of the movie, who tells Shannon that she needs to get a picture of Chris, some kind of personal object of his, then roll it up in some copy of an ancient scroll and burn it when Chris appears to her out on the cliff, where his power is "the most strong".

I mean, are you kidding me? This was just such an incredibly stupid idea! I couldn't believe it when she had to roll up what looks like an old newspaper but is supposed to be some kind of magic scroll and burn it. It's also revealed that Shannon looks exactly like Chris' divorced mother did who committed suicide, alluding to some type of time warp cycle where Shannon is Chris' divorced mother, as Shannon has also has a son who looks like Chris. But this is never actually developed or explained, just left completely open. What a terrible movie. And it seems Shannon can't manage to do any type of role without taking her clothes off, as she sleeps with her boyfriend who just got out of the hospital, almost being killed by the car falling on him, while his arm is in a sling and he has however many broken ribs! SHEER STUPIDITY!